


On The Job

by Mindbleach



Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Tokyo Lift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:21:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27254089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mindbleach/pseuds/Mindbleach
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	On The Job

“You seem to think you’re _mighty_ , Grollis Zephyr, but do you have the _lats_ to stop me from _sinking Tokyo_?”

As the villain teleported away Zephyr saw the device of Tokyo’s destruction: Two seismic generators strapped to a barbell clearly labeled "100,000 kg". With the haste of a thousand winds Zephyr sprinted to the diabolical squat rack and seized the handles of destruction (but only after properly chalking his hands with the Chalk Ball of Justice™).

“Remember proper form!” he bellowed from beneath his mask, “Feet Shoulder width! Barbell square on your back! Push down! Hips back and lower than your knees! And squat back up with your knees and chest out!”

With a mighty roar Grollis pushed, but even his force of a thousand winds was not enough to budge the bars. “I need the people of the world to squat with me together! And remember proper form!”

“Oh no! I’ll help you!” Sputtered Ayanna Dumpington, startled awake from her caffeine coma. She stumbled out of her chair and ran to the diabolical squat rack, where she lifted the barbell as easy as if it had been made of styrofoam. In fact, it _was_ made of styrofoam.

“Holy shit, am I like, crazy strong now?! Am I FILLED WITH THE JUICE OF THE GODS?!” She was not. She was actually filled with Dr Pepper and Ramune.

“Cut! Reset the shot!” Yelled the beleaguered director, sending the surrounding film crew scurrying into action, resetting the props and lowering the villain-of-the-week back to their mark using a hand-winch. Ayanna, still holding the foam-based doomsday device looked startled, but to her credit she didn’t appear flustered or embarrassed. Zephyr actually doubted that she was even capable of feeling embarrassed.

“Hah! Looks like I fell asleep again!” She said as she awkwardly tossed the barbell at a passing PA. “Sorry, bro, I guess I just thought that the set would be exciting, you know? It always looks like a blast on TV, but now that I’m here it’s mostly just sweaty guys in latex suits waiting for their turn to get punched. Now that I think about it, I used to work at a place like that, but that's another story.”

Zephyr chuckled and patted Ayanna on the shoulder. “Well at least now I know that my bellows are loud enough to wake the hearts of the youth of Japan.”

 _She has a good heart,_ Zephyr could see that, _she just needs some guidance._

“Anyhow, I just wanted to make sure that you’re doing alright here. No one’s pushing you around just because you’re… Y’know. A chump. Are they?” Ayanna reached up to give him a condescending pat on the head. _He’s a good guy,_ Ayanna could see that, _he just needs a good role model._

“So anywhozit,” Ayanna continued, “how about we blow this popsicle stand and go drinking? You’ve been working for almost an hour, it’s time for a break!”


End file.
